Hello Again, after however long it has been. Work has taken off wonderfully, I am in a department where I can learn almost constantly, and be creative as well. Unfortunately, this has taken up a great deal of time, I still have not gotten my CDL (hopefully I can get that taken care of in the next two weeks).
In either case, I have gone through the worn-out-then-rejuvenated phase again, it didn’t seem to take as long this time. Nothing accomplished in obtaining work space, but a plan of action has come into focus at least. Still looking through options, still having the same obstacles. They WILL be overcome, however.
In some ways, my plan of action is the same one it has been for a while. Similar goals, combined with a more solid dedication. I just have to find ways to overcome obstacles. Sometimes taking the bull by the horns is daunting, even if you know how to make it appear effortless.
A great number of people seem to have faith in my ability. That’s awesome, but in other things, I must prove myself, yet again. Proving myself, to myself, is what is required in order to project that confidence that allows me to obtain opportunity. Once I have the opportunity, and need to follow through on it is when I start to stumble a bit. I start thinking “who am I to have this chance? I am not worthy to do this job. I don’t have the knowledge. I don’t have the experience. Other people have this stuff. Why did I get picked?”
The answer to that is in my character, in my personality. It is in being able to take that step forward.
When I’m on familiar ground, that isn’t hard, but it is one hell of a catch 22 when I’m in the dark, can’t see the terrain, and don’t know what time the sun will come up.
Aw hell, screw it and jump. Or climb. Damn, which way do I go? Sometimes you just have to pick a road and go down it, even if you don’t know exactly where it will lead, or even if you know it doesn’t go where it looks like it does.
There really isn’t a point to all this rambling, but it helps me think, somehow. It helps me look at the same problems from a different perspective. Which sometimes provides an answer. A brick wall across the road really doesn’t mean much if only you can find the entrance to the tunnel underneath it.
Blah.
